So the other day someone asked me, “what do you think are your best and worst qualities?”. My answer was the same for both..
Those who really know me would say that I’m non-judgemental and that’s true. I like to look at the best in every situation but let me go further into detail because if I don’t several of you will misconstrue that and say that I’m naive but thats not the case because while I do see the best in people, I also see the worst. I just weigh one with the other and if the good outweighs the bad, then to me, that makes the good I do see in someone worth fighting for. I am the kind of person that likes to see the world for what it can be, not for what it is. I do the same with people; I see them for who they can be not for who they are. I really believe I’m not the only one who thinks this way either. This can be both so positive and constructive, yet can also cause so much self-destruction. The difference is the amount of control we have over this quality of ours. (I’m talking to you, because chances are if you’re still reading this, we are the same in this way).
It starts off with someone else, usually someone who means something to you because if they didn’t then you wouldn’t give them a chance in the first place. Some of the most common situations that happen are: they blow you off when you had plans, they misguide your trust and use it to gossip about you in some way –for example trusting someone with something and they turn around and go tell someone else, or maybe they only start showing up to your plans when they need a favor. These all snowball into bigger issues later. Being blown off by this person becomes something you get used to. You gossip about them to feel better about them doing it to you and tell yourself that that is a normal friendship. Finally, they use you and do so until you realize whats happening and at this point it probably hasn’t been a friendship for awhile or.. it never was.
Let me clarify a few things: when I say “blow you off” I don’t mean that they let you know your plans are going to have to be rescheduled because real friends do that, when I say “they will misguide your trust” I mean they will take the most personal situations and manipulate them to humiliate you, and when I say “they use you” I don’t mean you helping a friend in need because all of us SHOULD do that. I’m talking about when they abuse you and never give back so much as a listening ear in exchange when you need a friend.
So my answer to the question was, “I see the best in people”, that is my best and worst quality. For the remainder of that conversation I flashed back to every person I believed in when everything said not to, and I thought about how they have come such a long way and have helped me grow alongside them and pushed me to better myself, and then I thought of those who exhausted my soul and only took from me to the point that if I didn’t drop them from my life, I would have nothing, I wouldn’t be this happy and I would not be fighting to give myself the fantastic life that I crave so much.
Be weary of this quality and don’t let others take advantage of you for it, if you possess it. But also remember to see the good in people and the good in the world because for what it’s worth. I have seen and experienced terrible things, and I have seen and experienced wonderful things and both have come from people I trusted and people I didn’t think I’d ever be able to trust in the first place, or trust again. And if you were to guess which experience came from which kind of person.. your answers would be so wrong. Always take a chance on someone because you might be the light that brings them out of the dark. For me those people were then and are still K.P. and Z.M. , my two very best friends.. They saw the best in me.
Inspired by conversations with @Mtmsky on Insta 💗