Doubt is just a word, but it wasn’t always.. at one point it was a word that dominated my life.
Like most people I’ve been through a stage in my life where I wasn’t at all aware of what I was worth, what I am worth, and really– what I’ve always been worth. Social skills or the lack thereof, feeling unworthy, not having accomplished anything of significance and my appearance, all of those were contributing factors to the weak point in my life claimed by “doubt”. I had no self confidence whatsoever. I didn’t know then what I know now. There’s no use dwelling on the past though, it’s the past for a reason and in order to keep succeeding we must always look forward, not backward. I love myself.. but I didn’t always.
Here are some steps that helped me to value myself:
Step 1: Take a solid fifteen minutes. Write down what about your life bothers you, write down what you’re unhappy with and write down what you can do to to change those things or alter them to be happy. For me, I wanted to stop feeling sorry for myself about things that happened to me or things that didn’t happen for me, I wanted to get my body back into shape, I wanted to be better financially, and I wanted to excel in my classes– Simply put I wanted happiness and these are the places I chose to start.
Step 2: Follow through with lesson 1. Make that list and start knocking things off. For the self pity part, I had to realize that being knocked down is a part of life we and it is something we have no control over, but we do have a choice in suffering and allowing the suffering to continue. It is by no means an overnight thing. I started by getting myself a gym membership. It began with two nights a week and within a month I was up to six nights a week, go at your own pace though. With whatever your objective is. The key is consistency, do not overwhelm yourself so much that you give up. With the financial aspect, I just stopped shopping every weekend and I set a goal for myself. Tough when you have a taste for expensive things, however very do-able. You compromise with yourself. Finally, with my school objectives, I started to study a little more each night: fifteen to thirty minutes, twice a week– I got a 4.0 that semester because of that small difference.
Step 3: Once you’ve committed to some “me time” consistently, it becomes apart of your lifestyle, doing what you love is the key to happiness. I know it’s such a cliche but it’s the truth. So let’s continue because by this point you should, if nothing else feel better about yourself for accomplishing what you set out to do and let me say that THAT alone will take you to the next level of self love; When you show yourself that you can achieve anything by committing to it, you unlock this entire world of possibility and had it not been for a good friend telling me that I controlled my emotions, and that the way I allowed people to make me feel was only because I allowed it, I would have never allowed myself to step into the mindset that I now carry with me everywhere I go. It’s because of this that I like to think of “Doubt” as the old me, the one who didn’t believe in himself, and I’m happy to say, I don’t know him anymore.
I truly hope you take what I’m about to say to heart because it is coming from me, the “me” that believed I would never amount to anything because of the doubt that a few people had about me and then I realized that out of all the people doubting me, I was the only one who’s mind I had to change. You are capable of everything you set your mind to.