If there’s someone you’ve been holding onto, this post is for you..
Recently I “lost” someone, if you can call it that– It was for the best. I lost this person over something that should never have come between us but it happened and I have no regrets about it. It got me thinking about how I have always been the type of person that has historically had a hard time letting people go: Boyfriends, Best friends or “Best friends”, people in general, and like most of us I have been put in a position where letting go was my only choice, I wasn’t given any other option. For every person who has left my life there has been a long and hard fight for them on my behalf that accompanied it. I fought for those friendships/relationships.. regardless of who was right or wrong in whatever it was that led us down separate paths. Each time I lost one of them, the sudden change of living my life without someone that was apart of my life for awhile always weighed on me after because I carried the memories of them and the time we spent together long after those people chose to leave my life. I tell you this so you can better understand what I’m going to say.
As you’ve probably gathered, I am relentless in everything I do. I fight for people even when they no longer give me a reason to; Everyone has their limits though. For me, I will cling to the last straw of hope, I will sacrifice many things including my pride to hold onto someone, I hold on until the respect I have for myself becomes the thing I have to sacrifice. I will never beg for anyone to stay in my life; Thats my limit.
I understand that there are reasons why people cut others off and I’m sure the reasons are just as good as any; some of the experiences that led me to cut people out of my life are that I wasn’t made a priority, my effort wasn’t valued, my trust was betrayed in some way, or they were just bad for me. Whatever your reason, if you feel that someone needs to be removed from your life by all means do it because you’re probably right (I’ve learned you should always follow your gut).
HOWEVER, one thing I don’t do is treat people any less courteous than I want to be treated. There’s an art to cutting people off and it doesn’t include treating them like less than any human should be treated. Some people take it too far. What brings me to this topic though is that I hear and see so many people, in person but especially on social media, talking about how they like to cut people off, how they feel that it makes them a “savage”. Let me tell you my opinion on that.. It doesn’t. Cutting someone off should be a last resort.
People treat you how they treat you to begin with but if you never try to reason with them or explain how you feel about how they are treating you, cutting them off isn’t the next step. People are so afraid to talk things out. I get it, trust me, not everyone will listen, not everyone will respect your boundaries and if you come across one of those people, you let them go; I support that. But don’t do it for pride. Don’t do it to be spiteful. If you do it for the wrong reasons you’re giving them the satisfaction of being the type of person they expected you to be. The kind that leaves when it gets tough or turns nasty when the relationship has ended. Don’t live down to that expectation. See I want to be the kind of person that gives chances (but not more than what is deserved) and I want to be the kind of person that holds their faith in humanity even after all the bad I have seen. People can be good and they deserve to be held onto, but when hanging onto the person brings grief and grudges along with the memories, when someones name tastes bitter in your mouth, it’s time to let go but understand this:
It’s not for the other person. It’s for you..